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Have you become so used to feeling uncomfortable that it feels comfortable ?

Feeling safe in who you are is a powerful and liberating experience.

It means accepting and embracing your authentic self, flaws and all, and feeling confident in your own skin. Being unapologetically yourself, without fear of judgment or rejection from others.

This safety to be unapologetically yourself, starts from a deep inner understanding and acceptance of your own values, beliefs, and personality traits.

It means having a strong sense of self-awareness, and being able to identify and express your emotions and needs.

But what if, you didn’t create those foundations?

What if the foundations you created were based on the ideals and expectations of your family, teachers and society? And that this life you have created is therefore a life based on others values and version of safety.

Continuing down this road may feel safe, or perhaps it's more accurate to say it feels normal.

Because, being real and completely honest with yourself, this version of the life that you are living is all you have ever known.

So it can be easy to become so accustomed to feeling uncomfortable that it feels comfortable.

And you may say, well surely if I feel comfortable, then that is OK 🤷‍♀️

Until you realise what comfortable actually feels like, and become aware that all of this time, your mind body and soul at its deepest core has been so uncomfortable, exhausted and crying out to be heard!

Awareness is such a magical tool! It gives you the power to create the most influential changes in your life!

So how can I rebuild my foundations?

When considering safety, the first place you may think of is your home.

If you don’t feel safe in your home, I strongly urge you to consider your options and to seek help.

The analogy of our home is a place of safety (for most) to be at your most authentic self.

A place where energetically the mind, body and soul will give up being the false version of who you truly are.

And so when exploring your authentic self, it can be easier to recognise where your safe place is, and notice the behaviours that you wish to show, the beliefs that you would like to say out loud or even consider.

Like the foundations of your home, these become the foundations of who you are. What you can come back to at any moment in time, to check in, am I living my MY values?

When we refer to safety in this context, we consider our work environment, home environment, the relationships we have, friends, family, work, partners, but most importantly - ourselves!

And when you have identified your foundations, like your home, check in with your boundaries:

  • How closed or open are they? Your home will have doors that you can close and lock when you leave or need more safety to sleep. These are physical measures we put in place to protect our physical safety. And for which we can apply to our emotional and energetic self too.

  • When you feel safe in who you are, you are able to set boundaries and communicate your boundaries effectively. You are able to say no to things that don't serve you, and yes to things that align with your values and bring you joy.

So if I’m so accustomed to feeling comfortable with the uncomfortable, how may I recognise an unbalance in this energy centre?

Your mind, body and soul as a whole are constantly seeking for safety, and when it doesn’t feel truly safe, it may compensate in other ways. This compensation could be recognised by;

👉 a feeling you need people around you - your safety net;

👉 saying yes when you really wanted to say no

👉 wearing a mask; acting and mirroring the people you are with so that you feel like you fit in;

👉 laughing at yourself, perhaps to eliminate the fear of being laughed at by others first;

👉 hiding behind your laptop, or a job that doesn’t show your full capabilities;

👉 staying in the financially secure job or relationship despite the unhappiness it brings.

+ many many more!

So what now?

  1. Awareness is the best tool you will have in your toolbox! Awareness brings choice, a choice to continue in the suffering, or a choice to explore options. Either way, it allows a crossroad to be built. Become more attuned to when you are compensating for a version of safety, and when you can completely let go and be yourself.

  2. Practice self-love on being yours truly!

  3. Explore your options. They are there!!! They may seem difficult to see, feel like they are hiding from you, an uphill struggle and you may even feel so trapped that you have no other option than to stay where you are. But they are ALWAYS there. You CAN rebuild your foundations, and come back stronger and more aligned to your true self.

  4. Recognise at least 1 small action that you can take right now; even if that action is… “I need to find out more information….”🤷‍♀️

  5. Take Action! no matter how small a step it is. Take the step!

  6. Return to step 1 cos friend…get used to the fact that this is a never ending process of self- discovery as you travel back to your home soul.

How about you? Have you recognised when and where you are living against your values. If so, how do you compensate for your feeling of safety?

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