For years I craved the feeling of not having a “to do list” and that sound of complete, utter and pure blissful...silence.
But then when the moment came, my mind, my body would seek for busyness, to fill in the void.
My belief system included:
Success is a direct result of working hard;
There needs to be a reason to play;
Failure is not an option and so if failure is a possibility, its best not to try.
Determined to succeed and not feeling good enough, a regular working week became 50-60 hour weeks topped with daily high intensity workouts at the gym.
Living life off adrenaline, sleep deprivation and a constant buzz; I believed that my nervous system did not feel content unless I had burnt myself out! If my head wasn’t at the office or the gym, it would be on my phone. I wonder if you resonate?
The reality was I was making myself ill. I wasn’t in control of my life! And I wasn’t living my life!
So what have I learnt?
To take stock of what I have, what I am truly appreciative for, and what I want more of in my life.
I've learnt when and how my body craves a dopamine rush from the excitement of life, but for the long term health of my mind and body, it is my responsibility to embrace the pause button, to supply my body with opportunities that lean into nurturing activities.
I’m more mindful of when I am truly happy, and for what my success looks like.
I’m more in control of knowing how I feel, and what makes me happy.
To be aware of those niggles…that something doesn’t feel right here, moments of inspiration, time to reflect, take stock and think about the best course of action, or simply to refill the coffee cup of wellbeing.
Part of our spiritual growth is acceptance of how we feel. It may be easier to sweep the emotions under the carpet, avoid the pitfalls but the growth comes from doing the energy work of what holds us back from standing in our power.
Allowing ourselves to listen to and trust our inner self can feel awkward, illogical, and even unnerving. But through practice, we learn to trust what are our thoughts, our ego and our inner sat navigation as it guides us along our spiritual journey.
So, I encourage you to:
Stop
Notice and ask yourself:
what am I feeling here?
what is causing this emotion?
when has this emotion come up before?
More often than not, you are being faced with a situation which is a learning point for you.
Choose how you move forwards. This is your life and no-one else's!
And most of all….
Be kind to yourself. Accept that it takes practice.
Sinéad x
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